Presence in Coaching: Building Rapport and Creating Forward Movement

Great coaching begins long before a goal is defined or a challenge is named. It starts with presence—and with building genuine rapport.

Trust and connection are not preliminary steps to coaching; they are the foundation that makes coaching effective. Without them, even the best questions fall flat. With them, meaningful insight and forward movement become possible.

At Zenger Folkman, our coaching work is grounded in strengths-based development and informed by data from our Extraordinary Leader assessments. But regardless of tools or methodology, the most powerful coaching skill remains the same: the ability to be fully present with another person.

For coaches and facilitators, presence is not passive. It is an active practice that shapes every conversation.

Start by Knowing the Person, Not Just the Problem

Effective coaching begins with curiosity about the whole person—not just their role or immediate challenge.

Early in the coaching relationship, invite clients to share what energizes them, what frustrates them, what they enjoy about their work, and what feels heavy right now. Some clients naturally stay in professional territory; others blend personal and professional experiences. Both approaches are valuable.

What matters is gaining insight into:

• What motivates them
• What consistently creates tension
• Where they feel most confident
• Where they feel uncertain or stuck

These insights help you understand not only what your client does, but how they experience their world.

Practical tips for coaches:

• Open with broad, human questions before narrowing to goals:
  • What’s been occupying your thinking lately?
  • What’s going well right now?
  • What feels hardest?
• Listen for themes across sessions—not just isolated issues.
• Reflect patterns back to clients: I’m noticing this keeps coming up—what do you make of that?

This deeper understanding becomes a lens you carry into every future conversation.

Practice Presence: Listen for What’s Said—and What Isn’t

Presence means showing up fully, setting aside distractions, assumptions, and the urge to fix.

Rather than scripting coaching conversations in advance, arrive with openness and curiosity. Let the client guide what matters most in that moment.

Deep listening often reveals what clients are struggling to articulate: uncertainty, fear, self-doubt, or competing priorities. These are usually the places where coaching has the greatest impact.

Instead of jumping to solutions, create space for exploration.

Practical tips for coaches:

• Slow the pace. Silence is often productive.
• Mirror what you hear: It sounds like you’re feeling torn between…
• Ask clarifying questions:
  • What’s underneath that?
  • What feels most important here?
• Notice shifts in tone or energy—they often signal something meaningful.

Clarity frequently emerges simply through being heard.

Help Clients Move From Reflection to Action

Many coaching challenges are complex and don’t resolve in a single conversation. Coaching is not about fixing everything at once—it’s about creating forward movement.

Progress often starts with identifying one small, meaningful step. That step matters because it transforms insight into action and restores a sense of agency.

Practical tips for coaches:

• Ask action-oriented questions:
  • What feels like the most useful next step?
  • What’s within your control right now?
• Encourage experiments rather than perfection:
  • What could you try this week?
• Help clients define success in realistic terms.

Momentum builds when clients experience progress, even in small increments.

Trust That Your Client Has the Answers

One of the most liberating truths for coaches is this: you do not need to have the answers.

You don’t need to be an expert in your client’s role, industry, or specific challenge. Your value lies in helping clients think more clearly, see themselves more objectively, and access their own insights.

Great coaching is not advice-giving—it’s partnership.

Practical tips for coaches:

• Replace telling with asking.
• When tempted to offer solutions, pause and ask:
  • What options do you see?
  • What feels aligned with your strengths?
• Reinforce ownership: You know this situation best.

Clients grow most when they trust their own thinking.

Coaching Is Connection First

At its best, coaching is about being with someone as they navigate complexity—not directing them toward predetermined outcomes.

By building rapport, listening deeply, and staying present, coaches create the conditions for clarity, confidence, and sustainable development.

Ultimately, coaching is less about advice and more about connection. When people feel seen, heard, and understood, they are far more capable of finding their own way forward—one step at a time.

• Michelle Fabian